80s Movie Smack-Off (Part 2)

It's time to continue the quest to discover the best 80s comedy movie, March Madness style. Round 1 for Bracket 1 is in the books; 8 movies have made the field of 32 so far. See the 80s Movie Smack-Off (Part 1) blog entry for Bracket 1 results and contest details.

Without further dudes, let's examine the competitors in Bracket 2 (the "Gag Me with a Spoon" bracket) and their corresponding seeds:

Bracket 2 (Gag Me with A Spoon Bracket).

1. Fletch
16. Once Bitten

8. Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
9. Robocop

5. This is Spinal Tap
12. Hollywood Shuffle

4. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
13. Summer School

6. Teen Wolf
11. A Fish Called Wanda

3. Airplane!
14. Brewster's Millions

7. Spaceballs
10. Uncle Buck

2. The Naked Gun
15. The Man With Two Brains

Round 1 Results: Gag Me with A Spoon Bracket

The 1/16 match up in this bracket is tantamount to any John Wooden coached UCLA team playing Wellesley College. It's a serious yawner, over in the first three minutes of the game. Fletch probably has more memorable quotes than any movie of its era, and features Chevy Chase at the pinnacle of his career; Once Bitten has its moments but only taps the surface of a young Jim Carrey's talent. Once Bitten is Lauren Hutton's last hurrah as the sultry temptress; her "feminine wiles gas tank" is not quite empty, but its about 25 miles away from the warning light coming on. John Cocktoasten, Igor Stravinsky, Alfredo Garcia, and Gordon Liddy all agree that Fletch barely breaks a sweat in this lopsided match up. Fletch wins by 40.

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure vs. Robocop makes a compelling 8/9 match up. Both are unique and quirky, and are capable of multiple viewings. Pee-Wee's Big Adventure wins out regarding the absurdity of its characters, as they are some of the strangest and funniest ever (remember Large Marge's face?). The plot, though silly, somehow makes Pee-Wee's (Paul Reubens) weird-o persona seem somewhat normal. Tim Burton does a great job telling a story and not simply recreating Pee-Wee's Playhouse for 90 minutes. Robocop is timeless, and has some of the best subtleties in cinematic history, period. Ronny Cox (Dick Jones) and Miguel Ferror (Robert Morton) are insanely good (take a look at Ferror's body language during the meeting where Cox presents the first robocop prototype - it's priceless). Robocop also works on dual levels, somehow making Officer Alex Murphy's (Peter Weller) bionic corpse show emotion. Robocop beats Pee-Wee's Big Adventure in a nailbiter, 74-71.

The 5/12 match up is between This Is Spinal Tap and Hollywood Shuffle. Spinal Tap is quintessential Christopher Guest and cronies - the perfect mockumentary capturing the essence of the rock and roll lifestyle. It's a cult classic with many quotable moments and enduring characters. The triad of Guest (Nigel Tufnel), Michael McKean (David St. Hubbins), and Harry Shearer (Derek Smalls) fit together seamlessly (as they do in all Guest's movies), and the original soundtrack is A+ too. "Stonehenge," "big bottoms," and "shit sandwich" are soundbites all remember from Spinal Tap. Hollywood Shuffle, written and directed by Robert Townsend, is one of the first movies in the In Living Color brand of humor. The sketches are great and don't distract from the plot of the movie, and the social commentary is touching without being overwhelmingly preachy. If you love pimp humor and Black comedies of the nineties like Friday, this movie is for you. Hollywood Shuffle is a bit under the radar regarding great 80s comedies, but it shouldn't be. It's a classic, which is why it gets the major upset in beating This Is Spinal Tap by two points in overtime. Cast your mind back to 1998 when Bryce Drew hit the winning shot to advance Valparaiso past Ole Miss: like Valpo, Hollywood Shuffle is one of this tournament's dark horses.

The 4/13 duo between Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Summer School pits 80s juggernaut comedians Steve Martin and John Candy against a bunch of no names and young actors Mark Harmon and Kirstie Alley. Candy's portrayal of Del Griffith in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is perhaps his strongest performance of the decade. It's a major plus that Griffith is a shower curtain ring salesman. Steve Martin (Neal Page) plays the straight man well; memorable scenes include Page washing his face with Griffith's underwear, and Page telling the rental car agent (Edie McClurg) to "Give me a fucking automobile...a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick...four fucking wheels and a seat!" The dynamic between Martin and Candy is an 80s version of The Odd Couple, and holds up well over time. Summer School does not hold up quite as well, because Summer School's characters are mostly teenagers which reflect the era's pop culture. That being the case one might think Planes, Trains and Automobiles wins this match easily, but - surprise - it doesn't. Why? Summer School, while only enjoying a cult following, has Dave and Chainsaw (played by Gary Riley and Dean Cameron, respectively), who represent the epitome of 80s misspent youth. Additionally, Mark Harmon's character (Freddy Shoop) commits countless transgressions, and in doing so elevates his character to a bad-ass level beyond anyone in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Shoop is a good guy, right? Let's examine his good deeds: While up for tenure he bribes his students to study so he can be seen as an effective teacher, he encourages students to lie to get free stuff, he takes his students to the beach so that the males can see a female foreign exchange student in a bikini (Fabiana Udenio), he gets arrested for giving vodka to minors, and he allows his 15 year old female student (Courtney Thorne-Smith) to live with him in his 500 square foot hovel by the beach. Maybe he's not such a good guy. But he sure is awesome. Summer School's grubby yet genuine cast of characters helps it beat Planes, Trains, and Automobiles in an upset 68-62.

The 6/11 seeds feature Teen Wolf and A Fish Called Wanda. Teen Wolf is vintage Michael J. Fox (Scott Howard); Wanda is great because Jon Cleese (Archie Leach) and Kevin Kline (Otto) have solid roles that shine; Wanda also provides one of the last opportunities for Jamie Lee Curtis (Wanda Gershwitch) to be a sex symbol before she started looking like NFL quarterback Kurt Warner's wife circa 2001. Otto proclaiming "It's K-K-K-Ken c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!" regarding Ken Pile (Michael Palin) and his stuttering is classic. Teen Wolf however has Stiles (Jerry Levine) and Boof (Susan Ursitti), not to mention great apathetic characters like Coach Finstock (Jay Tarses) and Chubby (Mark Holton). A Fish Called Wanda is a more mature and refined comedy (Animal House might be more mature than Teen Wolf), but Teen Wolf throws up hot sick all over Wanda because it is so archetypal 80s. Additionally, the wolf can dunk, and the 80s Movie Smack-Off emulates basketball. Teen Wolf to round 2.

Unfortunately for Brewster's Millions (#14), it drew Airplane! (#3) in the first round. Brewster's Millions is a decent comedy, and Richard Prior (Montgomery Brewster) shows a bit of range as an actor, but Airplane! breaks the mold and resets the bar for laughs per minute. Airplane! never runs out of steam, is bursting with talent, and is as funny today as it was 30 years ago. Even considering that John Candy (Spike Nolan) also stars in Brewster's Millions (was he in EVERY 80s movie?), Airplane! ploughs through it like a runaway truck. Airplane! wins 81-58.

The 7/10 match up is between Spaceballs and Uncle Buck (what a shock...more John Candy!). This is a tight battle; Spaceballs is legendary and provides the lasting quote "May the Schwartz be with you." Uncle Buck doesn't have quite the sound bites, but it is still great and features Candy (Buck Russell) at perhaps his heaviest. The sweater he dustbusts crums off could be made into one of those flags Marines roll out across football fields during national anthems. Uncle Buck also features a very young McCauley Caulkin (Miles Russell) who swears: "Ow you're hurting my arm God dammit!" Spaceballs is of course completely different. Spaceballs wins here in double overtime, mostly because Uncle Buck changes gears midway into more of a drama (like when Tia Russell (played by Jean Louisa Kelly) lies to her mom and claims that Buck drinks around the kids without a hint of comic relief. What a bitch, huh?). Spaceballs might have won in regulation if it wasn't for Buck's friend Pal (Dennis Cockrum) hitting on Tia at the bowling alley; Pal ("You a cheerleader? You look firm.") is so impossibly sleazy he easily keeps Uncle Buck alive through 2 OTs - one of the best tertiary characters ever!

One might consider the 2/15 match up between The Naked Gun and The Man with Two Brains to be likened to the first round of the 1991 NCAA tournament when 15 seeded Richmond upset 2 seeded Syracuse. Like the Orangeman, The Naked Gun seems an overwhelming favorite, but there are great moments provided by Steve Martin (Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr) and his brain container girlfriend Anne Uumellmahaye (voiced by Sissy Spacek) that might be used to argue for an upset. The Man with Two Brains is a great quirky comedy, and also features Kathleen Turner (Dolores Benedict) when she had a sultry voice and a smokin' body (now she sounds like Harvey Fierstein and looks like Bruce Vilanch, proving that Father Time remains undefeated). The Naked Gun has Lieutenant Frank Drebin (Lesley Nielson) and...almost too surreal to be true...OJ Simpson! Go back and watch the beginning when OJ (Nordberg) is staking out the villains' yacht. Then think about who that is. Re-watch it again. Think about it some more. The mind spins considering such a juxtaposition. Nonetheless, (alleged) murderers aside, The Naked Gun is a seminal comedy that is too powerful for a film like The Man with Two Brains. Richmond doesn't beat Syracuse here; The Naked Gun wins by 19.

That concludes round 1 for the Gag Me with A Spoon bracket. Fletch, Robocop, Hollywood Shuffle, Summer School, Teen Wolf, Airplane!, Spaceballs, and The Naked Gun all advance to round 2. Check back on March 8 for part 3 of the 80s Movie Smack-Off to see how Bracket 3 - the "B.A. Baracus" bracket - breaks down.