THE BEST
There is no better play-by-play announcer for NCAA college basketball than Mike Patrick. He also excelled when he covered the NFL for ESPN on Sunday nights (with Paul McGuire and Joe Theismann, still my favorite trio for NLF games, though probably an unpopular opinion). There are few things better than hearing Patrick announce a Duke vs. North Carolina hoops game at Cameron Indoor Stadium. He's perfect.
Hubie Brown is the gold standard for NBA color announcers, period. There is no one better. There will never be one better. He's the smartest and the most informative. I almost have literally never disagreed with anything he has ever said during a broadcast. Listening to him is like taking basketball 101 - it's an education in itself. How awesome is it that a few years ago he went back to coach the Memphis Grizzlies and was named NBA coach of the year for his outstanding efforts. The next year he's back at TNT kicking ass behind the mic. He is the best ever.
Buck is probably the most obscure announcer on this list. I love him. He is another one of those announcers I would place into the "never disagree with him" category. He's intelligent, always is one step ahead of the action, and really knows baseball. When he pops up from time to time I always feel privileged to listen to him.
Kevin Harlon does play-by-play for TNT and is the Minnesota Timberwolves full time announcer. He is great because of his enthusiasm that never comes off as forced or insincere. I can hear him now..."Kobe Bryant drives to the rim with no regard for human life!" He's definitely one of the better play-by-play guys there is. His commentary makes players seem larger than life. Gotta love him.
Vin Scully is perhaps the most revered living baseball announcer. Even considering the mountain of praise he routinely receives he still might be underrated. He is baseball. I love that he broadcasts games alone, a trend that has long been uncommon. Above all else, he shines because he is always impartial. He never takes sides or shows an inkling of favoritism toward the Dodgers. There is nothing more relaxing than sitting home and watching the Dodgers lose while the consummate master Scully rolls on. The sun is setting on his career, so take a few sips of the fine wine before it's gone forever...
Clark was one of the best NCAA hoops analysts for years. He's another one of the dudes I always agree with. He is very astute. He inherited the color commentary job during the Final Four from Billy Packer: a job he richly deserves.
Faherty is great on a Sunday afternoon. That Irish accent just drips golf etiquette. I love how he isn't afraid to call a spade a spade and criticize golfers too. The major tournaments wouldn't be the same without him chiming in from time to time.
Mike does NFL games and hosts various golf tournaments too. He is perhaps the best current play-by-play announcer in the NFL. Too bad he works with those two brown nosers Ron Jaworski and John Gruden. He is very underrated and should receive more accolades for his work. He's the consummate pro.
Pouty John McEnroe, who sported one of the worst attitudes of all time during his playing days, has turned into the best tennis analyst on television. He tells it like it is (like we would expect him to!), but gone are the tantrums. All that's left is cogent thoughts on the best sport no one follows.
Joe Buck had one of the worst talk shows of all time (his recent stint on HBO, Joe Buck Live barely lasted past the first episode - check it out to see how he handled guest Artie Lange...believe me its worth it). He was disastrous as a host. That's OK because he is the consummate pro when it comes to play-by-play. He covers both MLB and the NFL; he's very good at covering football; he's unparalleled when it comes to baseball. He is very quick to report contingencies or possible scenarios from situation to situation and often seems to know more about the game than his sidekicks. There are none better at what he does.
THE WORST
Moose covers NFL games, and he is the ultimate example of mediocrity. He's not that smart and it shows during his broadcasts. I can't think of anything he brings to the table of interest. He's boring.
Action Jackson is now one of TNT's main color commentators. It seems that he does every game because he's on TV so much. He juxtaposes Jeff Van Gundy, who together are the new version of Snapper Jones and Bill Walton (one serious guy, one clown). Jackson has a strange, conservative ninnyness to him and comes off as extremely up-tight. That's not why he sucks though. He sucks because of his monotone voice and because he is B O R I N G.
One of the main reasons Joe Morgan sucks has nothing to do with him. It is because his sidekick Jon Miller constantly kisses his ass while Joe basically ignores him. Morgan has plenty of reasons why he is bad by himself though. He is a perfect example of a guy that knows all the ins and outs of baseball but doesn't have a very creative mind. The best way I can explain what I mean is to compare him to a musician who plays the notes but not the music. Also, I hate how he never changes his mind about something he's said, even when instant replay clearly shows he was in error. He typically will state that a pitch caught the edge of the plate and reiterate it when the replay shows the pitch six inches off the plate. Intolerable. I also get the feeling that he don't like-a-tha-white-people that much.
Dierdorf is the ultimate ass kisser and specializes in the art of the cliche. He's the only person on the planet who actually uses the term "kudos," and he uses it a lot. Boy has he gotten old over the years. The combination of Al Michaels, Frank Gifford, and Dierdorf for years on Monday Night Football was almost enough to make me eat my gun. Thank God Gifford is retired so I don't have to rail on how bad he was.
OK so Stuart Scott doesn't exactly fit the announcer roll as do the others on this list (though I think he has broadcast a few games). But his act is so tired and lame at this point he needs to be chastised here. His hosting of the multi-part series Who's More Now? on ESPN a few years back was the culmination of his idiocy (the show debated which athletes were more "now," which was Scott's lingo for "popular" - a useless and ridiculous endeavor). He hasn't been original or entertaining since he uttered "as cool as the other side of the pillow" back in the mid 1990s.
Now retired, Madden became so played-out it is embarrassing. There is hardly a better example of someone who became a caricature of himself than Madden. He knew the game well; unfortunately he sounded like he was retarded when he tried to convey it.
Magic does color commentary for NBA games from time to time, and since he isn't really a full time regular I'll give him some slack. On second thought, I won't because he is soooo bad and full of hyperbole it is pathetic. The fact that he can't construct a grammatical sentence doesn't help either. What is it with athletes that they never evolve in their speech ability, even when they work as professional orators? Don't they try and refine their English upon knowing they will work as a professional commentator? Here's a few quotes from Magic when he covered a past NBA dunk contest: "Larry Johnson's problem is that he be too quick," and "Well, what it is is...the crowd wanted power...and the crowd got power!! Ha ha ha!!" Brilliant.
Everyone loves Keith Jackson, who is a stalwart of NCAA football broadcasting. The emperor has no clothes. Keith Jackson hasn't pronounced a name correctly for thirty years. Anyone remember when he retired and CBS had a big special about his career? He was back the next year televising games again. That was close to 15 years ago! "The young man #53 there from...uh...Biloxi Mississippi...with the tackle." Horrible.
It pains me to place Bermen among the worst announcers, because I grew up loving him and in many ways his voice to me represents sports for my generation (back back back back back when he was tolerable). However, his act has really withered over the years. The silly names (Andre "Bad Moon" Rison, for instance) have become stale, though he continues to spew them out. His biggest flaw is his constant references to himself regarding how long he has been in the business and how long ESPN has been doing its thing. Enough. He's become really long winded too. There is no better example of someone who has diminished in quality over the years.
Putting Tim McCarver on a list of the worst announcers is sort of like putting Scarlett Johannson on a list of actresses with the sultriest voices: it's a no-brainer. He is an easy target with years of gaffs to condemn. He constantly over-analyzes baseball, and has an answer for every single thing that happens during a game. I remember him best for when Deion Sanders dumped water on him over and over. Classic.
