Singletary Must Go

The San Francisco 49ers were obliterated by the Chiefs today and fell to 0-3. The Niners are the Bagger's team, so he's pissed.


Mike Singletary

 Here's what I know:

 It is time for Mike Singletary to get fired.

I never really loved the Singletary hire, but I did give him the benefit of the doubt when he inspired the Niners to a few wins after Mike Nolan was let go. But now it is evident that Singletary must go. The problem isn't his desire or passion to win, it's rather that he just isn't that smart. 


Tom Cable: The New Generation
of Dumb Shit Coach

NFL teams more and more seem to be staking their futures in the hands of ra-ra type coaches who really don't have much of an idea of how to manage a team (see Herm Edwards for a good example of a dummy ex-coach/cheerleader). Oh yes they get fired up but these reactive head coaches never win consistently. This characterizes Singletary. Consider the NFL head coaches of the past who have won the Super Bowl. Most are cerebral, calm, and collective. Think of Bill Belichick or Bill Walsh. The recent coaches have this quality too. Sean Payton is obviously an intelligent coach. Mike Tomlin seems intelligent (though I think he was a bit more lucky than good the year he won the Super Bowl). Brian Billick has an amazing football intellect. Guys like Mike Tice, Lovie Smith, Tom Cable, Romeo Crennell, and Mike Singletary are just too dumb for the job.



Mike Nolan in his Stupid Suit

 I also don't like that Singetary wears a stupid wooden cross the size of a telephone pole around his neck. What the fuck is that? No one cares about your religion, Mike, especially when your team is getting the shit kicked out of them by 30 points. Mike Nolan's suits used to piss me off in the same manner. OK bro, ya we see you in your suit on the sideline and ya we know you are a throwback and all, but how stupid did he look in that suit with his team getting their teeth kicked in every week? If you are going to try and be different than others just for difference's sake you'd better win some games.

I also don't particularly care for the fact that Singletary has a stopwatch hanging around his neck. He appears to time plays with it or something. Stupid. How many NFL head coaches are wasting their time doing such ridiculous things? It's amateur hour. It's bush league. It seems like he's thinking, "The cameras will catch me with my watch and the people will see that I am an innovative coach and this is how I will make my mark." I am just waiting for the game announcers to comment on it. I'm sure Jaws and Chucky will be all up Singletary's ass about it: "And folks, notice that Mike Singletary hasn't lost touch with the rudimentary aspects of coaching. He's hands-on with that stopwatch. He's in the trenches with the players. That's why they love playing for him folks." Ya right. That's why they love flying across the nation to get the piss knocked out of them by the Chiefs.



Not Steve Young
Not Joe Montana
Not Jeff Garcia



The Niners have other problems too (a grossly inconsistent quarterback and an offensive line as tough as wet Kleenex to name a few), but the fish stinks from the head and Singletary must go.

At 0-3 the Niners' playoff hopes look dim. The fact that they play in the shittiest division in the history of sports could help though. But god dammit many thought they would win the West this year, including me (and I am ALWAYS pessimistic about their chances).

We'll see what happens next week after the Niners get waxed by the Falcons. Unfortunately NFL head coaches are never fired until it is too late.

The Mobius Quest

Far across the distance - that treacherous divide,
Is found that thing for which we yearn.

We seek the thing to quench our thirst,

But whence its found - our thirst returns.

Jonestown Revisited

Jim Jones

Everyone knows the term "He drinks the Kool-Aid." It refers to someone who follows an idea or directive blindly or in reference to someone who strongly believes in some cause. Most also know the term's origin; it refers to the Jonestown mass suicides that occurred in Guyana back in 1978.

The Jonestown phenomenon is absolutely incredible. Take some time to look into it for an instant dose of horrible feelings.

Many of the deaths were certainly murders rather than voluntary suicides, but the death toll was 918. Check out the pictures.

The Time magazine cover of the steel tub used to mix the cyanide and Kool-Aid is intolerably disturbing.

It is amazing that the search for the one thing humans covet over all else - meaning - can lead us astray to catastrophic ends. The Jonestown events are ample evidence that the hearts of men are filled with dark places...

Worst Date Movies

Bad Lieutenant

Gummo

Dangerous Game

Barfly

The following movies are without a doubt questionable choices for you and your lady on a date...

Deliverance

In The Company Of Men

Bully

Blue Velvet

Boys Don't Cry

The Ice Storm

Kids

Happiness

Man Bites Dog

Leaving Las Vegas

Spanking The Monkey

Requiem For A Dream

Taxi Driver

Purple People Eaters Eaten

Mark the Snoutbagger's words: Brett Pharv is OVER. He will enjoy one of the worst, if not the worst, years of his career this year. The Vikings dropped their season opener to the Saints in New Orleans, and the old gunslinger showed signs of what is to come this Fall. Expect a slew of forced passes up the middle and across the field that are intercepted. I predict that we will see more pick-sixes from Pharv this year than ever before. He's too old, he's too arrogant, and the speed of the NFL will finally expose these truths.

This will end up crippling Minnesota both now and later, as they have mortgaged their future by relying on Pharv at quarterback. They have no backup plan, and they soon will join the ranks of the mediocre, along with ne'er-do-wells such as Denver, Chicago, Carolina, and Arizona (that's right, I said it; the Cardinals are shitty. They were last year, and they even were two years ago when they somehow took a 9-7 record to the Superbowl).

This is also the season where Pharv's iron man record ends. He will suffer an injury that causes him to miss a start. He is a rag doll out there, and he's going to get smacked hard sometime soon.

I'll end with this thought: can we consider a NFL quarterback who has started virtually every game for 20 years one of the best ever if he only has one Superbowl ring? Hmm...